Wednesday Writer Affirmations: Fear Of Not Being Interesting

Welcome to the first week one of my affirmations series! Let's see if I can carry this thing out in a way that makes some sense. As I explained more in this post, I made a list and checked it twice for my
writer fears. That is, a list of things I worry about when sitting down to my computer about to write. Sometimes these things translate into Writer's Block, sometimes they just settle and rise up whenever I sweep my brain for ideas.

The first one I will be discussing is: fear of not being interesting.

Creating Affirmations for the Modern Writer

Starting Wednesday, June 4th, I will start my Writerly Fears and Affirmations series. Every Wednesday I will bare my vulnerable, egotistic writer-self to the internet and map out each writer fear I have accumulated over the years.

Writing Fears and What You Can Do About Them

Nothing gets a writer thinking about their habits more than when they talk to someone who wants to take up writing. Take my roommate, for example. Chase knows Amanda and I write out of compulsion and as a mid-twenties liberal lumberjack type, he entertains new things, new hobbies. He says he's always wanted to write a story about this, about that. He's a creative guy and I do my best to encourage him to write down his ideas.

"But what if it's crap?" He asks. Oh, I tell him. It will be. Write it anyway. This takes him back at first and I hand him a notebook and wish him a happy crappy writing session. I wonder how my younger self would have responded to that answer. Oh, that little Harry Potter fanfiction you're writing in your Five Star notebook? Yeah, it's crap.

Well - it was.

Chase's concern about the potential crappiness of his writing is not new. I still have those thoughts, and sometimes they overshadow my own advice, which is - crap isn't an excuse to not write. But it's still a fear most writers have. One of many, in fact. I wrote down each writerly fear I have and came to ten daunting truths about myself that I rather not think about. But fear can be motivation -- or whatever the quotes on Pinterest say -- and maybe even turn these negative thoughts into something better.

Affirmations: "the practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment—fostering a belief that a positive mental attitude supported by affirmations will achieve success in anything." If you know what hinders you, why not make them work for you instead? I want to go out on a limb and say some of my writerly fears may be some of yours. If they are, maybe the next couple of weeks might interest you. Every Wednesday, I'll make a post about one of my fears and turn them into affirmations. Jury's still out on how hopeful to me this series will be, but my hope is that they help other writers.

What are your writerly fears?

The Thing About Parents

My friend Genevieve and I were talking the other day about the role protagonists' parents play in a plot. YA is a genre riddled with awkward explanations and excuses as to where the characters' Moms and Dads go when they're not in the story. They're usually one of three D's, or a combination of them: dead (Harry Potter), divorced (What Happened to Goodbye), or derelict (The Hunger Games).

Reading New Adult and contemporary fiction, the parents are more believably written out of the story, mostly because the characters are not in high school and usually living on their own, if not staying at school when they go off to college. Still, they're not major players to the story; they're mentioned sparsely, maybe given one or two physical scenes with the main character, usually in order to move the plot along or as characterization for the protagonist.

But it raises the question: why do writers have such a hard time writing about the parental unit of their characters?

I believe it stems back to the old unspoken truth that is universally acknowledged when it comes to writers: we're all just a little bit conceited. Or, if you're being honest, more than a little bit. Maybe a lot. Maybe when you write about anyone, you are putting a chunk of yourself into the story. And when we think like that, we might not be comfortable with writing about our own parents.

It's not easy opening up about the relationship we have with Mom and Dad, two people who influenced most of us the most, positive or negatively. And to think of our characters' parents in the same way, to give them the same relationship as I do, can be awkward. In most of what I've read the hero usually has a bad relationship with their parents and/or single parent, or they're dead, allowing them to have the perfect relationship: one where the author won't have to write them into the story and at the same time can even lend to some characterization of the main character. I'm looking at you, Potter.

I'm always drawn more to novels where the parents are still alive, are present in some way in their lives, etc. They don't have to be the picture of perfection and act like the Bradys - I'm working on a piece where the main character has divorced parents - but they're most definitely alive.

Maybe that's a good start for some writers. Write a story in which the main character has a relationship with their parents - shitty or happy, but a relationship just the same.

Third Grade Teachers and Netflix: Why I Write

Why do I like to write?

"Like" is a strong word. I don't always "like" writing. I like parts of writing, sure. I like when a character surprises me. I like when plot points fall into place perfectly and a choir of angels sing for such a miracle. And I like sharing what I've written with other people, to have that Now-You-Know-What-I-Am-Capable-Of feeling.

I definitely don't always like writing. I don't like second-guessing myself, or putting off writing out of fear of imperfection. And then there's always the This-Is-Crap-And-No-One-Would-Read-It feeling. My Inner Editor is a bitch who takes on a striking resemblance to my third grade teacher, Mrs. Glover.

A better question to ask is, why do I write?

This seems more fair. Because no one in their right mind would wake up one morning and say, "I think I'll make up a bunch of shit, put it into chapters, realize that none of it makes sense, accept the fact that I will probably never feel okay about what I write, constantly compare myself to more successful writers, and wallow in a world of self-doubt that hinders my basic human needs and drives me to drink." Right? There has to be a pay-off for all the vulnerability, insomnia, and an expensive addiction to caffeine.

So what is it for me? I'd have to say first that there is a voice in my head that says "What would happen if...?" No, not says it. Repeats it. Over and over and over until I finally indulge the voice and write it down. That's how I first started writing, and continue to today. "What would happen if all of humanity lived in colonies above the Earth? What would happen if a girl was a walking, talking Ouija board? What would happen if the spoiled daughter of a mob boss suddenly took her dad's job?"

Writing is also cheap therapy. Self-medication. Not that I have the emotional issues of someone who should go to therapy, but every day stresses need to be dealt with. Some people play video games. Some sleep. Some watch marathon seasons on Netflix. I do all of these things, and I write. They're all outlets in their own way. At least with writing, you can murder someone or go paragliding or live like a Jane Austen character.

The last reason is really something that I've discovered recently, after tucking my writing away from the light of day for years. When I share what I write, and I suddenly have readers, there's a purpose that goes beyond my own need to satisfy a little voice in my head or blow off some steam. All of a sudden, people are inside my characters' minds - feeling what they feel, forming attachments, making them a part of their collection of made-up people who they happen to think of like they're real.

This is strange and terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. And it makes all the second-guessing worth it, and all the procrastination easier to fight off.

Why do you write?

You're a Writer And You Love to Make Lists...

John/Jay, what's the difference?

"Low-Stress". Right.

One of the first concepts you run into when you pick up Chris Baty's No Plot? No Problem! A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing A Novel in 30 Days is that of a writer's Magna Carta. Two, to be exact.

In the book, Baty implores writers to make two lists. Magna Carta I is a list of everything you like about stories. Magna Carta II is everything you don’t like about stories. Then you pin them to your wall or write them on post-it notes or put it in your writing notebook – anywhere you write so that you can read them each time – as a frame of reference. You like this, so write about it. You don’t like this, so you better not write about it.

First, what is a "magna carta"? Thanks to our friends in England, we think of the term nowadays as any crucial set of laws that spell out the rules. For writers, we might cringe at the mention of rules. Most make it a point to break them. But what about those you set for yourself, not your craft? What's true for Ernest Hemingway probably isn't true for you.

Magna Cartas are, in my opinion, the best way to start if you're a first-time writer. (They're also handy for non-first-timers, because a human being is capable of changing their minds.) What you want to accomplish when making your Magna Carta is full-disclosure about yourself. These are the rules of your land. You can choose not to follow them as supreme ruler, but that might cause a rebellion from your muse. It would be a good idea to remember them, just to be safe.

Magna Carta I

This one is a list of all things that you enjoy reading about. It might sound easy, but I find most people have trouble listing more than five. I recommend looking beyond what the average reader would say. You’re not the average reader. You’re also a writer.

Let’s look at mine:

• Unexpected alliances
• Endings I can’t predict
• Cliffhanger chapters
• Believable heroines
• Realistic-sounding dialogue

These are pretty common, or at least not too much to ask for, I think. Here’s the rest of it:

• Foreshadowing that I pick up on the 2nd reading
• When I am taught something new
• Greyscale villainy
• A child as part of the main cast
• Character-driven plots

The second half of my list is, for lack of a better term, more writer-y. These are things that I’ve had to think about over the years. Notice they don’t really have anything to do with genre, age group, or medium. That’s because I try not to discriminate. There might be a western shoot-em-up graphic novel for 10-12 year olds that would satisfy most if not all of the above list (there probably isn’t, but how cool would that be?).
That doesn’t mean you can’t list “Whodunit” or “YA” to your Magna Carta I. The cool thing about writing technique is that it’s customizable to each writer. What works for me might not work for you, and vice-versa.

Magna Carta II

Where making a list about what you like to read isn’t all that easy, making a list about the elements you dislike (or hate, in my case) is so much easier. These are things I would never write about because I don’t enjoy reading them. That isn’t to say that a story containing anything from this list will make it a bad book in my eyes, but in my experience I haven’t read any of the following that I truly enjoyed. That’s why they’re on my second Magna Carta.

• Love triangles
• Vampires as a fantasy element
• High school as the main setting
• Romance as a main plot
• Cliché anything (dialogue, plot, characters)
• Villains who are evil for the sake of being evil
• Female characters written without depth
• Manic pixie dream girls
• Irrelevant details

These two lists have changed only slightly from my first draft. I’ve left out a lot, but you get the idea of what this is trying to do. These are my earliest guidelines for anything I start to write, and that takes some of the pressure off answering the question: “What am I going to write?”

What would be in your Magna Cartas?

Snowflakes and Webs

I don't normally do this, but the other day I began mapping out something for my Madeline. The following is what it looked like after a day.

What do you call this method of character research? Someone in my writing group said it was snowflaking. I kinda think of it as webbing. I claim ignorance about this because I've never done it for a character before. My character sketches are usually some well-thought-out interview questions and maybe a mini-scene written to expose their personality. I find the majority of my characters show themselves throughout the plot, not behind the scenes like Madeline did.

I recently got my hands on a copy of Office 2013 and converted the "web" into PowePpoint. Suprisingly easy, might I add.

Overall a mix of surprised and satisfaction with the final product. It was fun to make in PowerPoint. You can see I finally decided on a last name for the poor thing. I gave her "Smith" as a placeholder, although it makes me think - will anyone give a character the last name of Smith ever? 

The five major aspects that define Madeline are her roles, her age, her emotions, and her gift. I wanted to stay away from elements like "gender" and "not sure about sexuality" because these things don't affect her personality, something I wish more writers would take into account. They affect her decisions, yes, but decision-making is for the plot. This is the fleshing-out part that I need to figure out before I write that.

What defines your characters? How do you meet them? Snowflake or web?